In My Head

In my journal there are lots of words
Words that I never said
Pages and pages of hidden feelings
That I just tossed around in my head

It’s a collection of words unspoken
Words too painful to bring to life
Words that bring out too many emotions
Words that cause too much strife

Words that should have been said years ago
But the years just seemed to fly by
Words that wouldn’t even matter now
Words that would be in vain, if I tried

Words of how I really feel
Just how I really feel about me
Words that hold me down
And keep me from being free

I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings
I always kept everything bottled in
Written expression has always been a way to escape
It’s always been my friend

So, in my head are the words I love you,
I miss you and come back
I’m sorry, we can work this out
But how did we get off track

In my head are the words you weren’t good enough
You were never good enough you silly girl
Why did you think that you were special
Out of everyone in the world

In my head are the words bad sister
You were never around enough
You were selfish and cold hearted
Never there for him when times were tough

In my head are the words you knew better
What were you thinking, let him go
Why are you sacrificing yourself
Are you just a puppet in his show

In my head are the words don’t give up
Don’t give in and drink
You’re strong you can beat this
Don’t care about what others think

In my head are the words you ruin everything
And all you do is push people away
You complain when they don’t reach out to you
But you never ask them to stay

In my head are the words you’re killing your family
They’re so worried about you
What will you do when you wake up one day
And see that they’ve gone away too

In my head are the words you deserve to be unhappy
You’ve caused pain beyond belief
Maybe you should end it now
And give everyone some relief