Self-inflicted famine

by Obscure   Aug 24, 2020

In a way it is comfortable
drowning in the present
because change

So I waste everything
on coping mechanisms
that do more harm than good
waiting for some day
when everything will be okay

My goals may be within reach
but I bind my wrists to my sides
clench my eyes shut
and silence my pain
"I can do it myself"

But I can't
And somewhere deep inside of me
A voice cries out
begging me to ask for help
To not wallow in agony any longer

Is it too late?
Have I wasted all my potential
trying to seem more put-together?
Shouldn't I leave the help
for someone more deserving?

I will not ask
I cannot.

I have built my walls too high
now I am starving inside them


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Latest Comments

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Skyfire

    Ahhh I feel this very deeply in my life right now. Drowning because change requires effort - effort that seems impossible when you can't get out from behind your own walls. Great job.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    It's eerie, yet maybe comforting, to realize I've asked these same exact questions. And thought these exact thoughts. And still do. Imagining change is terrifying. Trying to measure my worthiness and battling with myself on hiding more, on refusing to ask because of the implications and consequences. Those last two lines made my soul ache.

    I feel this, I really do.

    Your writes always hold your truth, and I appreciate that, as I know it's not easy. It's raw and real and something many can probably relate to. Writes like this, that have so much heart and emotion in them, speak to me the most.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Star

    This is very powerful and raw Obscure!!
    I really hope writing comforts you at least a little bit!!

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