Should I meditate?
Should I medicate?
First, I need a better reason to retrieve the bait.
I'm addicted to hardships.
I'm addicted to feeling like shit.
But there's still time to fix this.
Maybe one day, I'll see that brightness,
shining down from the rays illuminated by the sunlight.
Transparent shimmers from a lunar glow.
Relieved to feel free,
a rush of brilliance.
Before it burns away.
How can I re-remember feelings of optimism?
Feelings of accomplishing a goal.
Igniting a dream instead of inflaming nightmares.
I just want to see life in the right light.
But sadness is taking over.
Seconds, minutes, hours, months, years.
Maybe it's too late to fix this.
I'm alone, waiting for an antidote.
My guilt only makes me numb.
I can't put up a fight.
I can't retrieve the bait.
I'm addicted to feeling empty oblivion.
I should meditate.
I should medicate.
Adrenaline races in - coursing through my veins.
My throat burns, such a firestorm.
Carving, gashing, digging, piercing, spilling.
I'm just relieved to feel this rush.