it takes a single moment to
wake up and face the
momentum of your absence -
it takes an astonishingly
long minute to realize
that without you, i don't feel
as safe, the voices in
this house crescendoing
and spewing black dust.
i force my heart rate to
decelerate, to not have my
day ruined, but i can't help
wondering why i couldn't join
you, why we couldn't leave
together;
separation has exhausted
my will to keep trying,
but i know you'd want me
to heal,
so i turn on white noise,
drown out the chaos,
and try to resurrect the
peace you gave me.
