The girl in the mirror is different

Looking at myself in the mirror
sometimes it's hard to rememeber thats me
that I see looking back at me,
expecting to still see the girl
that you turned me so brutally into.

A girl so frail, weak and scared,
unable to stand up for herself,
she'd jump at the slightest shadow,
she never dreamed of standing up to you
and always said "it must be me, not you".

Nine years ago I was a shadow,
I'd dodge mirrors at any cost,
the protruding ribs and hollow eyes,
signs of stress and misery splashed across my face
testament to disprove my lies.

A doormat for your mood swings,
a "yes baby, whatever you want" girl,
keep the peace no matter the cost,
I tried so hard to be what you wanted
that I lost who I was in the process.

Self doubt, self hate, crying myself to sleep,
unhealthy coping just to survive,
you broke my spirit, you broke my soul,
much as I said that we were perfect...
I was nothing but a victim of you.

Nine years later stands a girl
that sometimes I don't even recognize,
she stands tall now instead of shrinking,
speaks her mind and holds her own,
her eyes rarely haunted now.

I did what you said I wouldn't,
I thrived without your control,
became something worth being proud of
and now know the power of "No",
I finally laugh more than I cry.

You left your scars on my conscience,
I still hear your voice in my head
but I now know how much you lied,
the weaknesses you said were mine...
turns out they were yours instead.

I have a man who loves me,
you made healthy love so foreign,
true care and respect terrifying,
but that's what he gives to me,
he builds me up everytime I fall.

You said I'd never be good enough
but he says I'm all he wants,
you said I'd never amount to much,
he builds me up to reach the stars,
tells me I can do anything in life.

When you crawled back into my life
after nine years of me overcoming,
you thought that you could threaten me
and be met by the same quiet mouse
but baby, that girl is gone.

In the end I guess I owe you,
eight years of your abuse,
rock bottom became my cornerstone
to stand up to people like you
and become what I've done for myself.