whoosh.

the AC kicks on and rattles the closed door...

how many times now have i been told
that i'm just overreacting?
catastrophizing?

told time and time again
how it would be prudent
for me to choose to move on.

but my instincts never fail me,
and lately, i've been trusting
myself more.

the fans are on in the house, the AC
introducing white noise mixed with
oblivion...

yet, i'm not fooled.

i know tension too well.

there's a reason i still get stomach
cramps and have a hard time eating.

why the knots in my heart develop
into headaches in my brain and i
want to dissociate, to land on a
different planet...

but, i stay.

i try to soothe myself,
becoming an infant again,

realizing how far the
trails of trauma can reach.

_______________________

freewrite