He treated sex as a pleasure unattached to love
In my heart, the words and choices burned in pain
My life went out of color, whereas before it shimmered
Now, the fine memories perished into excruciating strain
Some other men tried to heal me - or I tried to heal with some men
The hole left in the left of my chest
Also tried to fill this gap with anger, roses, boys and beauty
Now I abide by my memory and write
Of all the times I died, reborn and got killed again
There wasn't one in which I passed of uncertainties
About myself, my choices and my words
Always assertive, seldomly infirm
All I do is complain and try to find reasons
To do things I know are unviable
I was afraid my youth was over
Though I've never felt more adolescent and stupid
Even though amidst uncertainties of what is real
Of one thing I'm assured and can't complain
That even dying or getting destroyed
Another time I'll reborn again
