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by Poet on the Piano Sep 20, 2023
What I miss the most
is finally feeling safe enough
to let you see the fearful parts of me.
For once, I was not self-conscious,
hugging my knees,
not feeling like I had to
apologize for the silence.
You watched me,
I felt your gaze protect me.
You typed some notes,
the keystrokes soft yet constant,
and I felt my pain being held.
I didn't have to pretend.
I didn't have to explain myself.
You let me decompress,
letting me know you would be patient.
You promised you would be there,
you promised in so many subtle ways.
I didn't expect you'd leave.
Perhaps I should have prepared for this,
but now I only hold your absence.
I wonder if our time together was ever real,
if safety will always mean
I have to say goodbye.
by Ben Pickard
Perhaps when we feel safe, we are at our most vulnerable. And as for being let down, in that, people seem to have an unlimited capacity.
I was sorry to read this, Elliot.
by Poet on the Piano
Very true. Thank you so much, Ben.