Half Mad

by Obscure   Oct 19, 2023


In my bones I'll carve a tale of your sweet ichor
Who told you that desire could be tamed?
I cling upon your breath like I am starving
Let me be near to you, I beg, don't be ashamed

There is such bliss and torture in the almost
A taste of death could not bequeath such thrills
As those who sail the stars must find it wanting,
Hold temptation in their grasp, and lose it still

You've driven me half mad with just your presence
A madness sweet and biting as the sea
I hunger, knowing none but you can sate me
Yet at your bidding ever would I leave

I swear to you, your touch will bring me solace
I will not struggle, hold me as you wish
With gentle hands or claws or in indifference
It is your grasp, and so I won't resist

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I'm not sure why I wrote this, but it seems better than most of my more recent writing, so I want to share it.

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  • 6 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    You're back! Glad you shared this. I enjoyed the rhymes.

    I think this was my favorite stanza:

    "There is such bliss and torture in the almost
    A taste of death could not bequeath such thrills
    As those who sail the stars must find it wanting,
    Hold temptation in their grasp, and lose it still"

    - Especially with that first line, the anticipation of "almost" and what it implies.

    Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings, but I connected to this in terms of romanticizing death, having a confusing relationship with it. Sometimes wanting it. Sometimes being afraid. Knowing it is such a powerful force that can come at any time. Knowing that there are those who wouldn't struggle?

    Also in that last stanza, there is an understanding that this could potentially bring you peace, and no matter how the end comes (gently or perhaps more aggressively, or indifferently as you say), you'll accept it.

    The first readthrough I assumed this was directed at someone, but I quickly changed my mind and thought it was something more intangible. The idea of an end, even if it's not death itself but some kind of holding place or whatever one may call it. The presence of death can certainly be a comfort for some (I mean I relate to it), but maybe too this was something that can't be categorized as life or death. More a feeling or a state of being into something different, something fulfilling, that you are not experiencing now. Maybe a desire to be taken from monotony? From what is expected? From where you feel life is stagnant?

    I'm not sure! But anyways, this was an interesting piece!

    • 6 months ago

      by Obscure

      I'm so glad that the intangible sort of idea got across, I wasn't sure if it would. Also, I really appreciate the thoughtful take on my writing, thank you for commenting!!

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