Do you get infatuated with strangers
who are simply being polite;
The cashier that flashes a smile,
remembers the cigarettes you like?
I was in therapy,
believing my therapist had a crush,
yet chose professionalism
and kept it on hush, so I didn't push.
I'm probably crazy...
There's an eternal hole of empty boredom
where my brain should be.
It pains me to admit,
happiness feels impossible to obtain to me.
It's always out of reach;
and if I extend too far, I'll end up
face first on the floor looking up
at the nothingness I've created.
I swear I love life, it's beautiful.
But I don't love my brain
or the pain I feel from the memories
of people I know I'll never see again.
How do you deal with that?
How does one heal, in fact?
When it's your soul that feels
broken and misplaced;
I don't think they have a pill for that.
Quite difficult to mitigate my paranoia.
Agitated by anything, one spark will
ignite fires worse than the ones in California.
I don't get it, everyday I am mentally tortured.
