Slipping away
Into something more comfortable.
A disillusioned vision
On the peripheral sidelines,
Aching to be mine.
My tender addiction,
Budding anew;
My tender addiction,
Oh how it grew.
My mindlessness
Is a true vacancy-
Empty spaces;
Empty thoughts
Filling them.
Eyes as empty
As darkened windows.
There's nothing here.
Nothing here,
but an inkling,
A craving,
A burning desire to drink
Until my mind is gone
And nothing is left of
My liver.
And even in the emptiness,
In the glowing light
Of a neon vacancy sign...
My guilt finds me.
I don't know
why my heart races so.
I don't.
I don't know.
And I don't know why
These drinks call out to me,
Over and over,
Wanting nothing more
Than my dying thirst.
Nothing more than
my undivided Attention.
Nothing more...
Nothing more than my
unracked guilt,
My unprecedented sins,
My downward spirals.
Even in my broken shards
Of splintering glass,
I've been found.
All my faults have found me,
Crawling through the trenches,
Gut wrenching fear
Pouring through me.
Why can't I pour a glass of wine,
Lifting the glass,
guiltless, shame free?
Why can't I break
The chains of addiction
Binding me?
Why do I see
With startling clarity?
And who in the mirror
is staring back at me?
