Feelings,
For someone who feels so much
It often feels like I feel nothing
I'm cold to the touch
Am I drowning
Or am I just lost
Was selling my soul
To survive the cost
Is it still somewhere
Stuck in my trauma
For hurting people
Is this my karma
Is it behind a door
That I myself closed and barred
Somewhere I never revisit
So I can ignore the scars
I've been wandering this labyrinth
That is my mind for so long
Makes it hard to see the point
To continue to remain strong
Do you want those feelings
Or am I just running scared
Afraid of the rejection
When I'm fully bared
To be vulnerable again
I don't know if I could survive the aftermath
Is that what it will take
To be able to walk a different path
To trust someone
Enough to be able to ruin me
And hope that instead of the judgement
That they actually see
I'm so tired
But if I rest
I may never get back up
Is that what's really best
Will they cease then
No probably not
I doubt it's the peace
That for so long I've sought
When will I finally be enough
Be unbroken
Be able to voice
Everything gone unspoken
Shine a light
On what lies in the dark
Use words
Instead of leaving a mark
Accept me
Uproot all the sorrow
That poisons my heart
Let me look forward to tomorrow
Burn the mask
Along with the bridges
Rise from the ashes
Without all these ridges
Maybe,
Maybe I'm just not built that way
Don't change for others
Isn't that what they say
But then I get stuck
Walking in a never-ending circle
When I desperately want
Nothing more then a reversal
I desperately need a shift
I need the negative to end
I need the good to outweigh it
I need to finally mend
When will things be different
When will my life stop being tough
When can I see past this
When is it finally enough?
