I kept losing myself
In what I thought was love
In my mind a good enough reason
To give myself a shove
So, I put them first
Thinking I would get that in return
That was such a hard lesson
But it something I had to learn
I converted to their music
And only went to restaurants they chose
Gave a little more of myself
Then I should have, I suppose
I took on their hobbies
Adapted to their schedule
Thinking that if I loved them enough
My life would become full
I kept my emotions to myself
Watched only what they wanted to see
I changed how I looked
To exactly what they wanted me to be
Dressed how they wanted
Only went where they wanted to go
Wasn’t really worth the argument
Of telling them no
Didn’t keep people around
That they weren’t comfortable with
‘Your loved one is all you need’
Such a beautifully stupid myth
I kept thinking ‘well everyone sacrifices for love’
‘Maybe their making me enhance’
‘Maybe things will improve,
If given just one more chance’
So, I let things slide
And took all the blame
Because as long as I thought they loved me
It didn’t make a difference; it was all the same
I took the disrespect without a word,
Giving them every excuse,
But looking back now
I see it was a different form of abuse
Still, I listened and comforted
Told them it would all be okay
I just wished I could’ve believed that
At the end of every single day
Instead, I went to bed with silent sobs
And had destructive ways to cope
While the relationship chipped away at my soul
And made me lose all hope
Misplacing more and more of myself
But yet, I still remained
Until finally I would realize, that if I hung around
Everything would always stay the same
So, I would break off,
Except again would find myself with a clone,
Later deciding I wouldn’t have gotten with them
If in the beginning I would have known
I fell in love with a lie,
Time and time again
What I was promised and what I got
Were two totally different men,
Finally, I stand free,
Not looking to fill that place
But now having to stare at the problem,
Straight in my face
If I became whatever they wanted
Constantly changing my personality
If I made that choice for myself
Who would I actually be
The biggest question of all
If I take away the parts of my life, they theft
Who do I really become
What is actually left?
