Dirty Secrets

This poem is dedicated to a good friend of mine. Upon a journey she has just begun...

Through mist my eyes I see the world go by, I sit alone and cry.

I'm so lonely won't you help me in this fight, to do what's right, and help me in my plight.

I write this as it were my last.
My empty life, is it ending too fast?

The candles flicker to and fro.
My life flashes before me in invisible woe.

So I look into my fading past.
As I sip the whiskey from my glass.

I'm sorry mum I've failed you so.
But I told you my secret dad stayed so I had to go.

You see I learnt quite early on that cruelty and betrayal had a human face.
Hidden deep within my shell I stayed for that's where I felt safe.

Night after night I'd cry by myself on the cold wooden floor.
My heart pounding as I listen out for the door.

I'm tired of wearing my smiley mask.
I was happy, happy as the outcast.

But push, push mum you did.
Why? I was after all just a kid.

I've gone through times good and bad.
Kept my head held high in front of you my dad.

Look through the windows of my eyes and tell me what do you see.
A troubled girl that walks the street in search of peace?
A troubled girl hiding late at night between her bed sheets?

No! This women, not a girl is no longer scared from the dark night.
Because I've found a gift, the gift of sight.

And I smile.

If time could stand still I'd freeze it here.
Where you would hold me mum, close and near.

My mind forgives but my my heart will never forget.

Now I understand it wasn't my fault.
I can close my eyes all these years on and sleep well.
As for you I hope you rot in hell.

Sorry for me, please do not be.
Through my vision I enable you to see.
But sorry for me, please do not be.

I am at one.
Upon this journey I've just begun.