Thoughts of Suicide

She grabbed my arm in anger,
Then lifted up my sleeve,
And what she saw beneath,
Her eyes could not believe,

Tears welled up in my eyes,
And slowly crawled down my cheek,
It felt like everyone was watching,
I was vulnerable and weak,

I pulled back in embarrassment,
And tried to wipe my tears away,
Hoping I'd become invisible,
Praying my image would fade,

But I saw the look on her face,
And I felt a burning deep within,
It was so much more painful,
Than the night before, when I tore my skin,

I saw her look at me with betrayal,
And I wanted to explain,
But there was nothing I could say to her,
No words to excuse the pain,

I turned away and got my books,
And started on down the hall,
I walked swiftly with my head straight down,
I didn't want to be seen at all,

Guilt was running through my veins,
And piercing me in the heart,
I crumbled on to the floor and screamed,
While I slowly came apart,

My head was overwhelmed with those voices,
And my hands were unsteady and cold,
I felt everything around me falling,
And watched piece by piece, unfold,

What has my life turned into now?
And why can't I get a grip?!
I feel myself crashing and burning inside,
And my hands are about to slip,

I can't take the pain anymore!
And everyone just gets angered,
I wish they knew the reasons why,
My life is becoming endangered,

I won't apologise for the harm I create,
Or these "UN-necessary cries for attention",
Getting everyone to notice me,
Is certainly not my intention,

They don't know about the visions I see,
Or this darkened life behind my eyes,
Thoughts of death consume my mind,
As I smile in thought of my suicide ...

^ Really messed up right now.