Love?

Dear Diary,
the weirdest thing happened today,
I just have to tell you,
because I felt so gray.
I heard about something,
this thing called love,
what is it, Diary?
Does it come from up above?
Everyone is saying
how great it is,
but I have never felt
something like this.
'Love' what is it?
It's the weirdest thing I've heard,
and to be loved
to me, sounds absurd.
Does it feel great,
or does it leave you in pain?
Diary, please tell me,
please try to explain.
I really want to know,
how love does feel,
for in my world
love isn't real.
Is it really beautiful,
and without any tears?
Diary,
I haven't smiled for years.
Is there really people
with no marks on their arm?
Who don't feel the need
to cause themselves harm?
Is there really a world
where this could be?
A place where someone
could love me?
I guess I'll never
get to know,
so I'll continue to smile
and put on my show.
I just hope that some day
I will not have to cry,
and experience love
that is not a lie.

©