My Autumn Evening

The leaves are now changing
To yellow orange and red
I look out the window
And lean my hands against my head

I go on my walk
I get a feeling- I'm calm
The wind blows my hair
As it flies past my arms

I walk on forward
With the sun on my back
I feel like you're with me
Could it be that you're back?

I tell myself no
You're gone from this place
The wind shifts directions
My hair flies in my face

I sit on the grass
Now fading and bland
I recall the days
When I walked here with a real man

Maybe not a man
He was only 14
He told me many things
He was strong, or so it seemed

He told me about the chemotherapy
The drugs and the tests
And how much he wanted
To slap those nurses - what pests

He hated the hospital
A place he was at a lot
I wished there was something I could do
But what I wanted to do, I could not

I wanted to take all his pain
And make it go away forever
I wanted the wind to blow it away
To the land of Never-Never

He got weak real fast
Getting wheeled around school
Some kids made fun of him
Said he was fat - thats not cool

They made fun of the way
That the drugs made him get
I saw him in school
This day I will never forget

He was going to English
I was already in class
He waved to me
I saw him go by real fast

I come home on Sunday
After a weekend with my friend
Only to find out some bad news
CJ's life came to an end

I stood there in shock
Then burst into tears
We made so many plans
Together we were to share our High school years

I started school this month
I felt disconnected and sad
I keep thinking I was going to see you
The nicest friend I ever had

I get up and dust off
Then walk down to our spot
I climb up the wall to the water
The wall to climb up you could not

I sit on the high rock
And I look straight across
The sun is now setting
I pick at some moss

I think of the day
When we once sat here
I look up at the sky
And see some stars appear

I wish on the star
That one day I just might
Be able to see you again
Oh, wouldn't that be a sight!

I kick off the wall
And get back on my way
I walk past the field
Where together we would play

The streetlights turn on
I kick at a rock
I walk up the hill
My heart again I lock

I miss you so much
Charles William Crooks
The kid who had all the friends
The body, the looks

Cancer took that away
Made you see your real friends
The friends who loved you for you
The ones there with you till the end

What'd I learn from you?
What'd you make me see?
You made me learn life is precious
Something everyone should handle carefully

The wind picks up momentum
I turn up the drive
I think to God above
Thank you so much I'm alive

I wont forget you
I promise you that
I open my door
And pick up my cat

I go to my room
And look at your face
I remember your smile
I put your picture back on my bookcase

I close my window
Smell the crisp Autumn night
I lay my head down
And tell my mom goodnight

I think of our days together
As I drift into sleep
Ill always remember you CJ
These memories I will always keep

Dedicated to Charles William Crooks Jr. October 19, 1989 - May 14, 2004