Still Not Knowing What To Do!

All I do is want to talk to her
but we both end up getting mad and yell
she is in alot of pain
this I can really tell.

I don't know why I get so angry
when she yells out in pain
all I do is say something stupid
which hurts her more and makes me feel really lame.

I don't know why I do this
because it hurts me more and more
knowing that I'm hurting someone I don't want to
it makes my heart drop to the floor.

I grew up to be stubborn
with this family that I have
no one loves anyone in my house
which makes me always mad.

I am so mixed up
and I know that shes has to be to
why does things always go wrong
it makes me not know what to do!

Things change everyday
within a blink of an eye
I hate changes so much
because it hurts and I rather just die.

My life has no meaning
and it never will
alls I want is a second chance
but I don't think that will.

Sometimes I think of only me
but that is because I am me
I did my best to show her different
because now all I do is hate me.

I hate the person I am
because I can't stand what I do
my life is so different now
but mostly because I'm without you.

I wonder if she really does hate me
I wonder if she really does care
I care for her so much
that it hurts because I don't know if she wants me there.

Seeing her in the hallways
always rushing me by
I miss the days when she used to stop
just to say hi.

I so much want to stop her
just to tell her how much I care
but I am worried what she might say
will she yell saying that she don't want me there.

I don't like it when we both yell
it is like a nightmare
it always replays in my mind
we both saying how much we don't care.

I wonder about her real feelings
the ones she holds inside
does she not want me to see them
but what does she want to hide.

All I do is wonder
it makes me cry everytime
does she really mean the things she says
I feel like its what makes me go out of my mind.

My life don't mean much
and I don't care if I die
I just want her to be herself again
but she can't because something terrible happened and she is still wondering why!

I just wish I could just trade her shoes
and try to help her through
I will take all the pain she has
just to show her that is how much I care and I want to be there to.

I wish God would answer my prays
when I ask him for another heart
because the heart I have is worthless
it feels empty and split apart.

I wish I could mend her wounds
and be with her every step of the way
it hurts me so much knowing
that sometimes I am speechless and don't know the right words to say.

Sometimes when I see her
and her head is tilt to ground
I wish I could walk over there
and turn her frown upside down.

I hate myself so much
for saying the things I didn't mean
I wish I could take it back
but I can't and I wish that my pain would leave me within just one scream.

Screaming doesn't help
it just makes me feel worse
I did so many things I regret
and everyday I feel worse.

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