Cutting.

by Unseen Exposure   Oct 21, 2004


Every night in the shower
I cradle my skin with my blade
Wishing, hoping, praying
For this pain inside to fade

Pushing deep into my thighs
The water stings the fresh cut skin
I can feel the hurt crawling
Seeping out from deep within

My little body struggles with pain
My eyes squint so I don't scream
Then soon enough- I become numb
And it's as if it were a dream

But I see the blood run down my leg
And once again, I start to cry
And I question myself in anger
Why'd you do it, Katie? Why?!

But the answer remains the same
The pain is too much to bare
And there is not one soul out there
Who see's me worth enough to care

So my blade becomes my best friend
And yet my worst enemy too
Because, although it releases pain
There's so much more it does to you

My bloodied fingers release the blade
And it drops from gravity to the floor
I tell myself that after this time
I won't do this anymore

But I'm just lying to myself
It's an addiction, and I won't hault
There is no one to blame, but me
I know the incisions are my fault

Sometimes in the middle of night
I wake up and feel a burning
From the cuts I made that night
And I scream and cry in yearning

Silent tears creep down my cheek
As I grasp my legs to relieve pain
And still I know that tomorrow
I'll cut to the bone, yet once again

I wish I had a friend to turn to
Because if I did, there'd be no blade
But alas I have not one person
Friend for a razor ... one fair trade

Tonight when I turn on the water
And feel it trickel down my face
I'll grab that razor from the shelf
And let it prove my bloodied disgrace

I'll carve out the reasons in long lines
I'll pick the nearest vein
For cutting is my release, I admit it
Its the best release for my pain.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by *tanya*

    hey sweetie, i know EXACTLY how u feel...you worded it all perfectly, you described exactly how i feel when i do it, (also in the shower) and i agree, it is an addiction. if you ever need to talk, i am here.. might help both of us :)
    your writing skills are excellent, i cant believe you are only 15!! oh and you might wanna check out some of my poems that have a similar themes...
    anyways, great writing, keep it up!
    much love, tanya :D

  • 19 years ago

    by V U L N E R A B L E

    This is amazing i kno just how it feels...exactly how it feels........keep your head up and realize someone luvs you it will be alright.....you will be alright..i kno i am

  • 19 years ago

    by Robyn

    wow great poem but also very very sad if need some one to just talk to u can talk to me about any thing i may not know any thing about cutting but my friends so if u want to talk e mail me at robynz13@hotmail.com i gave ur poem a 5 nice work

    keep ur head up high
    the sky id ur limit

    love yah '
    robyn

  • 19 years ago

    by pinkalias

    wow.....this is so moving and this is going to sound strange but when i read this poem...its stings. you have such a gift, i love how your able to put your pain into words, "Tonight when I turn on the water
    And feel it trickel down my face
    I'll grab that razor from the shelf
    And let it prove my bloodied disgrace"
    i love that stance. the way that you described your pain using graphic painful words like burning, ill cut to the bone....wow. i hope that you will seek refuge in your writing and not in the blade, your amazing.

  • 19 years ago

    by SheiLa

    dear.. it's painful.. though i'm a cutter myself, the physical pain in not that intense.. i can see that you're in great pain.. there will be a right person for you but you just didn't find him/her yet.. try to find someone to talk to and perhaps you can feel better.. that's what i do~

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