Everyday

Life seems to pass me by everyday
Things I accidentally say
Things I never meant to do
The people I love become strangers to me
People I do not know become the closest thing to me
My bi-polar disorder is getting the best of me
I love to be happy...
To smile...
To laugh...
But the sadness...
The madness...
The crying comes right after all of it
And hits me with a force the makes me want to die
My life is running a race with me far behind
It has gotten so ahead of me that I cannot catch it
So I can make my life better
I keep trying
But always fail
I keep thinking I will get there soon
But I get farther away from it
I just do not understand anymore...
And I do not think I ever will