Too Far!

Don't know where to start, theres so much words cant say.
So instead I watch my tears of blood wash the pain away.
The old scars stare accusingly into my soul and heart.
The insides already broken, now my bodies being ripped apart.
I cry out in frustration, for the stinging's not enough.
So I push the razor deeper, thrilled by the rush.
Still cant feel the pain, the pain I long to bear.
Wonder if they'll notice these scars, they didn't see the ones already there.
Push it deeper again, in my panicked state.
Try to catch my breath as I feel my body evaporate.
Theres a resounding thud, as my head hits the wall.
I wonder if they'll help me of even hear my call.
They don't know what I do, locked up in my room at times like now.
They don't know I carry a razor with me, it gives me comfort somehow.
By now my head is spinning, vision getting dim.
I'm starting to get scared now, have I let the beast win?
Mummy, its not your fault, I just wanted you to know.
Tell my sisters Ill miss them, and that I love them so.
Let daddy know I care, and I don't hate him, not at all!
I'm sorry I couldn't be his baby girl, not anymore.
Let my friends know they are the best, and Ill see them again, not long.
Tell them thanks for being there, sorry I couldn't tell them what was going on.
Please tell my boyfriend, he was my one and only forever.
I love him so much, I'm sorry we cant be together.
I didn't mean to hurt any of you, mum I love you no matter where we are.
Please forgive me, but I think this time Ive finally gone too far...

hmm I wrote that last night. Please rate and comment. Thanks...
by the way I'm not thinking of killing myself or anything so don't worry lol