Unanswered prayer

Dear God,
if you exist,
please help me
understand this

why am i
the way i am
and why do people think
i do not give a damn?

i know i am really snotty
my attitude sucks
but when i try to change
i have no luck

the words that i say
and the actions i take
sometimes, you see,
are completely fake

so tell me, God,
why i am this way
is it purely my fault
or did you have a say?

i know i need to change
i know i am not right
but i need some help
to put up this fight

i feel so lost
so all alone
even the birds are gone
to the south they have flown

i know it is my fault,
this isolation i feel,
but, God, please show me
that friendship is real

i need someone with me
who will always be there
in times of need,
in times of despair

i need someone
to take for granted
whose ears, to me,
will always be handed

but it cannot be you, God,
if you exist,
because i need responses;
audible bliss

so send me an angel
from heaven above
an angel to heal me
and fill me with love

a friend to change me
is all i need
a friend who will help me
in this life to succeed

so dear God,
if you exist,
please help me
and give me this

*i know the theme of this poem completely changes right in the middle, but there is so much going on right now it is hard for my thoughts not to be scattered. comment/vote if you can. thanks.*