Self Destruction

Haunted by handfuls of painkillers and self pity
Taking away the security of each false hope.
Razorblades became my closest companions
I loved them with such a passion.
The slashes have scarred, turned to memories
I see them each time I fall.
I took the blood to be my pain
Saving myself from it, drop by drop
Bit by bit I indulged in freedom
No more pain…

Consumed by the desire to cry shallow tears
I lost myself in the desperate battle
To survive the cruel intentions I brought on.
A smile that cuts deeper than any blade
Encouraged by the lack of the sympathy I craved.
Cornered by the guilt of impairing others
I tortured myself as their revenge.
Collapsing into the darkest of days
I hurled myself in depression
Again and again…

Controlled by the temptation to disrupt
The peaceful beauty my wrist portrayed
I sliced away, distorting the perfect image
I believed to exist in my imperfect life.
Hiding the truth behind long sleeves and ignorance
I plead innocent to the charges of my grief.
Obstacles became razorblades, losing all intimidation.
Climbing to the highest tower of self destruction
I broke, shattering the silence with my declaration.
“This is the end…”