Glazed Over Eyes

Where does one begin
When the beginning is unclear?
One day you just wake up
And its neither there, nor here

I wish that I could say
"Well here's my reason's why"
But I cannot point a finger
No matter how hard I try

Desperately I search to know
Exactly why this has to be
But I've reached rock bottom now
There is only hate and me

I could stare at life for hours
Analyzing every tacted move
Still, it wouldn't make a difference
There's nothing there to prove

Tearful memories of hatred
Impure thoughts of this life
Tease my aching body with
A cold and bitter knife

Rhythmic routines of poison
Waking every morning the same
Again, I can't point a finger
There's no one around to blame

This impractical future is fading
Not that it ever existed
The fact that I ever believed in it
Is sick, demented, and twisted

I played myself as a fool
An accomplice to the lead of the play
Read every line they printed
Never doubting the words they say

And now, well just look at me
Look deep into these GLAZED OVER EYES
They're full of pain and misery
Engulfed by all I despise

Tangled in a web of exhaustion
Its so hard to stay alive
Inside my body, I'm broken
Inside I've already died

So take my soul to heaven
Give it the beauty it's always lacked
Make these two lungs breathe again
Make my reflection clear and uncracked

Give me a mind with peace
Without evil voices that beat my head
Or make me think unthinkable things
And tell me I'm better off dead

I'm too weak to fight anymore
And belief in God has left me cold
Stone forgotten with an empty heart
Deal with the devil, and I'm sold.

^ yeah, I really couldn't tell you where I was trying to go with that, but I figured I needed to end it right away before it made absolutely no sense what so ever.