Star Light Farewell

Ring, ring goes the phone
I know it's of my current fear
Life is burden, false, maddening
Predictably death I hear.

I wish I could escape, run, hide
Through a foreign wilderness
Away from my mothers tears
Away from her depressing sadness.

I wish I could read a tale
That will bring me back a smile
I could get lost in this fantasy
Yet I know, I'm in total denial.

Could heaven just take me now?
Just to spend one single day
Even just one single stop
To keep this pain on delay.

I want to float to the air
And breathe in the candy clouds
I even wish I was burning fire
As crazy as my wanting sounds.

I want the rain to thunder down
And to wash away this pain
Leave no mark, just being free
And loose my will in trickling rain.

I wish I could see the man
Who died away from suffering
And ask him how it feels
To be the trigger of my mother's tears.

Miss ya, Grandpa
Though you never said goodbye
I know I will support the rest
And let them weep and cry.

But I can't take this
I am not the parent here
Oh grandpa everyone misses you so
I wish you were standing near.

What should I do?
What can I say?
Your daughter's lost in black sorrow
And my dad doesn't care.

I'll just wish upon a star tonight
And pray that you will be near
That you will watch over your family
And dust us with a little glee.

Star light, star bright
May I have this wish tonight
Oh heck with this old song,
Can you help make everything right?

**When I wrote this I was confused and distraught, I'm sorry if it makes little sense at times. I decided to keep it raw, this is what I felt, as little sense as it makes.**