Goodnight

I wake up in the morning, a bright smile on my face,
Is that really a smile? or just a mask, seems out of place,
When placed over my pale skin, pale and drained of life,
It transforms me into something normal, someone with no knife,
This isn't really me but now my mask is breaking down,
The cracks along the seams mean that i can't hide my frown,
When i cry it breaks away, now just the bare foundations,
Still lie on my broken face, I'm left with no motivation,
To stop me crying, shouting and screaming for them to go away,
Nothing left to stop me cutting all my life away,
I don't really cut so i can die; it isn't deep enough,
I just cut so i can cry, when my eyes are all dried up,
When i have cried my life away and there's nothing left to feel,
I can't help but wonder if the pain is even real,
I can't see it and it doesn't speak but then again do i?
No one seems to notice when i sit alone and cry,
If as i talk to my friend a tear rolls down my cheek,
They won't think anything of it; I did that last week,
They don't see the pain behind my eyes, hiding in my heart,
They don't even notice when i cut myself, when did i even start?
A long time ago, and since then I've hardly stopped,
I've had dreams since i started, in one i even topped,
I've hanged myself, I've cut myself, I've slit my wrists in bed,
I've been totally unable to take the gun from my head,
I know this isn't normal and i know it isn't right,
But I'm going to go and die now, so I'm bidding you goodnight.

*All comments and votes greatly appreciated as always*