Where to go next?

The silence of the sand
the breaking of the waves
the wiping of the wind
takes my breath away

the calm clammy air
sticks to my skin
the damp moisture
melts all my sin

the silence is welcoming
as my thoughts begin to swirl
pictures in my mind
of this life that makes me want to hurl

i wish i did like the feeling
of being so sad
writing pathetic quotes
that make me cry till I'm mad

why do i dwell
in the feeling of pain
why i do wish
someone would walk away

why do i wonder
about my funeral day
why i do i want to see
who truly cares for me today

why do i get jealous
why do i get mad
why do i get pissed
when your with him instead

why do i want you all to myself
why can't i share like everyone else

maybe because I'm insecure
maybe because I'm mean
maybe because i love you so much
the thought of you being hurt
would kill me

so now I'm no where
with not one solution
maybe if you just walked away
I'd be able to think through shit