Forever Around

Worrying thoughts, ways i shouldn't feel,
They all just, they just won't cease to be real,
I don't understand why i am not like you,
I don't understand the things that i do,
I know i need to stop it, i know this isn't good,
I know i shouldn't do it, and there's no way i should,
But it's so hard not to, to not cut and carve,
Or even thinking that maybe i should starve,
I wish i didn't feel so suicidal, no other explanation,
I wish i could stop this depression, this dreadful sensation,
I can't seem to take help; it's just too hard,
To tell others how i feel, how i dream of glass shards,
It seems impossible to stop; i can't find a destination,
A place i can go to find an explanation,
There doesn't seem to be one, if there is show me where,
I need a place i can go with people who care,
Who know what it's like but won't force me to explain,
All of my feelings again and again,
I don't want counseling but i do need something,
To ease this pain and ease this suffering,
I need this to stop, so before i die,
I can be happy, no tear in my eye,
I can't see my life with a happy ending,
I can't even see my heart start mending,
But before i die, i need to have had a life,
And i will rid myself of this blood stained knife,
I need someone else to help me put it down,
And then i will stay, forever around.

*All votes and comments greatly appreciated as always.*