Undying Shame: My faults

My parents told me to give up
That I'd never go that far
They always use to tell me
I could never be a super star.

So I did what they said
I failed maths at school
Funny how I passed last year
But never was that cool.

I was a ' social reject '
Because I used all my brain
Because I knew the answers
I was popularly insane.

But then when I stopped listening
And bagged all the school's rules
I was then accepted in the ' crowd '
And used like copper tools.

My parents became proud of me
I was bringing home some friends
They said that it was great
' This is where your isolation ends.'

They turned me into plastic
I focused on make up, not art
It seemed like all I could become
Was a cleaner at K-mart.

I lived and loved the fantasy life
I especially loved one thing
The most popular boy in school
But to him I was just a one-night fling.

When I turned sweet sixteen
I finally f(U)cked up life
I fell pregnant to a jack ass
And he made me his wife.

We dropped out of school
My parents started to hate me
I still lived in fairyland
Bad times to come, I couldn't see.

Now I sit with bruises on my skin
And a child in emotional hell
I remember the exact time
My whole world crumbled and fell.

My husband is drunk and broke
My family hates my name
But I know I did this to myself
I gave myself this undying shame.

** Note: I HATE this poem now. It doesn't do me any justice at all.