Tears me apart

I know that I have you,
and that you are mine,
but how deep is our bond,
that's what I want to find.
I never knew I could
love someone so deep,
yet loathe the situation I'm in,
my cool I try to keep,
but this I cannot win.
I thought I'd be ok,
that I'd do just fine,
but jealously builds inside,
what she has should be mine.
I'm the one that loves you,
I'm the one that cares,
she never put you first,
she was never there.
I was the one who was with you,
when you had nothing at all,
I am the one who will catch you,
when you stumble
and when you fall.
She was the one that used you,
for everything that you had,
she was the one that left you
when you need someone so bad.
I knew it was inevitable,
I knew it from the start,
but I never knew,
the thought would break my heart.
Yet I sit back and let it ride,
there's nothing I can do,
it tears me up inside.

~*~ My boyfriends ex just had his son. I never thought that it would make me feel like this. But I just can't help to think that that child should be mine. I love him with all my heart and it's not fair for her to have that part of him when there is no love.~*~