Suicide Books

A death is written inside you,
The instance you are born,
As you grow it may change,
As you change it, it is torn,

The death inside of my heart,
What heart, i don't quite know,
It has formed into suicide,
Quite when to you i won't show,

Smiles don't stay forever,
When you never have a home,
For more than maybe ten years,
You need a mobile phone,

Just for when it gets to yet again,
The point for the emergency call,
The one you make to the police,
Didn't i make one, just last fall?

My mummy might be beaten,
By every husband she has,
They may never give me bruises,
Though mental scars hurt as much as,

Scars across my wrists,
Made by my shaking hand,
While i cry i make them,
The ring of blood, around my wristband,

Self-harm isn't healthy,
Or i think that's what i was told,
When i was talking to my friends,
To loosen the blade from my hold,

Cutting isn't worship,
To a god from high above,
Though many people pray to him,
To make them try and love,

Please change my death, my story,
To an old woman's timely demise,
If i can please stop cutting,
And i stop my sobs and cries,

But if i keep on cutting,
And i still can't feel past the pain,
If love come to my door,
And i dismiss it once again,

Let me make this an ending,
And stop unwanted looks,
Please keep my written story,
In your teenage suicide books.

*All comments and votes greatly appreciated as always.*