It Won't Be The Same (My Collapse)

A friend died that week and left me in shock
So many thoughts raced through my mind
Tried to eat but nothing stayed down
The world moved on, left me trailing behind

Didn't sleep for days, my heart just raced
Couldn't eat, just sat in my room
Staring out at the turning world
Hoping help would reach me soon

Days passed by, slumped in the same place
Watching the world continue to spin
Could not believe she had passed away
My mind felt full; wouldn't take the news in

So many hours, thoughts left me behind
Couldn't cry, was too afraid to speak
Listened to same song over again
My mind grew tired as my body grew weak

The day after sat here, with a bleeding arm
Stood up and the world came tumbling down
Before I knew it, I couldn't see
Before I knew it, I had hit the ground

My heart started racing, my legs felt weak
Through my eyes I couldn't see at all
Ears ringing loud, my hands so cold
Couldn't stand;I knew I'd fall

My eyelids were so determined to close
Had to fight to stay awake
Could feel my world slowly slipping away
I'd had all the pain that I could take

Woke up with paramedics surrounding me
An oxygen mask attached to my face
I didn't know what was happening to me
Scared that death would take my place

Strapped to a chair, with needles in my arm
An ambulance to the A+E
So scared; I thought I was going to die
So scared; I could barely see

Paramedic joked about the cuts on my wrist
Felt embarrassed, so full of shame
Arrived at the hospital, taken into a room
So weak and full of pain

Had so many tests, as I lay on the bed
The doctor said I was weak
Also that I wasn't a "baby anymore"
That I should eat and get some sleep

The morning, went home felt so embarrassed
Just wanted to curl up and cry
Goes to show doctors don't understand
And it leaves me wondering why

Stayed in bed the rest of the week
The ECG scan wasn't good
They told me my heart needed some rest
It'd had more stress than it should

Since that week, my strength has collapsed
All my efforts now are in vain
Trying to get my life back on track
But I fear it won't be the same...

Sorry it is all so factual, and not really like a poem, I just needed to get everything out that has happened x