Alone

Sometimes when i get thinking,
I realise my that my life is fake.
I get so sick of lying,
Sometimes i just need a break.

See my life is like a roller coaster,
highs and lows all over the place.
For each occasion i swap masks,
I change to the appropriate face.

I never want to seem unhappy,
Because thats not the image i uphold.
Everyone thinks I'm so bubbly
But thats my fault, i made that mould.

I try and hold back my sadness,
I push my pain aside.
I make people think I'm okay,
But now i don't have a friend in who i can confide.

Cos it's not 'cool' to be upset,
And to think the way i do.
To fear the world around yourself
and want your life to be through.

It's not normal to cry the amount i do,
Or hear those scary voices inside.
It's not right to not want to face the world,
Why do I always want to hide?

But I've created this for myself,
And i can't go back now.
Even if I wanted to get help
I wouldn't quite know how.

So each night i lie in bed,
And the tears stream down my cheeks.
I cry the night away,
I pray to God to make me less weak.

I'm so tired of being alone,
I need someone to turn to.
But is there anyone who will understand?
And if there is, then tell me who??