A life I have no wish to live

I am living a life I have no wish to live, no idea what’s going on.
I stumble through as day by day it all blends into one.
In a world of swirling colors I stand, a faded black.
I have lost my will to breathe, I have fallen off the track.
Got advice? Please tell me. Got a question? Please, don’t ask.
My happiness is a costume, this smile you see, a mask.
I can not communicate these feelings because no one will understand.
This lonely enigma grows and grows, it’s getting out of hand.
I have been looking in this mirror so long that lies drip from my reflection.
People think they know me but what they see is their own projection.
My isolation is so big that nobody has ever seen me.
They don’t even know that I exist, so alone I stand, if need be.
What a profound misery it seems, but they don’t allow me to be sad.
Eventually this ongoing condemnation makes me feel so mad.
I have tried, I have struggled, so confused, I give it one last try.
Let’s forget all these foolish problems, let us live and enjoy life.
Until, yet again I awake, tears streaming from my eyes.
I am living a life I have no wish to live, a life of sorrow and lies.
I hold on, just, but for what? Where will all this lead?
Nowhere, except a darkened place, enclosed by overgrown weeds.
The laughter, a faded whisper, the fun has all been had.
I don’t like this ending, yet I desire it so bad.

**please comment, i'm new to this and need some feedback, cheers**