Pain

The pain won’t go away no matter what I do
My shaking hands holding the blade that decides whether or not I live
I can’t stop shaking so I cut really deep this time in a jagged line
I don’t want to but I feel there’s no other way
No one will miss me no one will feel bad I’m gone
No one can save me now the blood rushes to the surface
It doesn’t hurt, really it doesn’t… it feels good that’s the one thing I have control over in my life…whether I want to live or die…everyone says they know what I’m going through but they don’t they don’t know what its like to have everyone you love either dying or leaving that’s why I do what I do if no ones gonna be here whats the point? I’m just gonna die later and if I desire to die now I can avoid all the pain and grief later in my life that’s sure to come…still shaking…I can’t control it the blade cuts still deeper, tears running down my face there’s nothing anyone can say or do now…