Never good enough

Knowing you don't accept me now,
Makes me think to when I was young,
How I loved my mommy so,
You seemed to be so much fun.

Thru my adolescent years,
I remembered all the fuss,
Fixing my hair in the mornings,
Dressing me up in stuff.

I remember missing you,
When you would be at work,
I would try to find something to be close to you,
And carry around one of your shirts.

I remember when you and dad split,
Money wise we were bad off,
I could picture it like in a cartoon,
Your wallet would be full of moths.

I think back to 7th or 8th grade,
When our relationship changed,
You no longer liked my ideas of growing up,
You hated that I had my own brain.

Then came the dating scene,
You constantly tried to protect me,
To extremes you would go,
Making my friends reject me.

When I got married and was on my own,
We got along like before,
For I was 300 miles away,
It made me want to see you more.

When I got divorced and come back home,
You were there waiting,
Doing things to help me thru,
Because for me, it was complicating.

Thru the years I took some turns,
Some of them for the worse,
Its what children sometimes do,
But you have to let them choose, even if it hurts.

Now that I am older,
And I have a child of my own,
Nothing I do is good enough for you,
Everything I do in your eyes, is wrong.

How did you learn to be a parent?
I know we didn't come with instructions,
You had to learn from your own mistakes,
Even tho some was like self destruction.

I can't seem to get along with you,
I guess I have given in,
Knowing you resent everything I do,
You act like I am full of sin.

I no longer drink anymore,
I no longer do drugs,
I am good to my daughter,
Even tho you think my friends are all thugs.

You criticize my every move,
You find some reason to fight,
You always blame me for your actions,
Screaming nothing I do is right.

What ever happened to my mommy,
The one I held so high for years?
I guess all of that is in my past,
And all thats left is tears.

One of these days you wont be here,
And I know I'll be full of regret.
Its not in you to say one thing good about me,
Its like you have your mind set.

I know you don't accept me mom,
I've tired to prove myself,
But nothing is ever good enough for you,
This is what life has dealt.

To say I'm sorry is not in me,
You've made mistakes of your own,
I wish you would take a step back and see,
I'm not the only one who has done wrong.