I NEED My Self Harm

by ♥-Sharon Ardern-♥   Jan 1, 2005

How many more scars
Are going to come to my skin
Sitting under the stars
As my blade digs in

Sometimes I want to stop
And I climb up a little way
But then I always drop
And now I stay

My arms are already scarred
So I see no reason to give up now
Besides, it would be too hard
And I wouldn’t even know how

But still when I see my body full on
Every single scar, now there’s 273
I know the chance of giving it up has gone
And I hate what I have done to me

And yet I feel I will always
Reach for the blade
When I can’t get through the days
Because I am sad, and so afraid

It’s getting so I can’t hide it
But what else can I do?
When I feel so s h i t
What else can help me through?

I cut and I get release
A few seconds of rest
I need that little bit of peace
That moment is always the best

Maybe one day
Far into the future (if I make it there)
I’ll throw my blades away
And maybe see chances everywhere?

Who knows how it will be
But for now I need the calm
Despite what it does to my body
For now, I NEED my self harm.

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005


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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by BleedingAngel

    I wake up every day, saying to myself, that today I won't cut and I won't purge, but every day is the same and I always ends up doing it any way...But I hope for you that in time you can get through this and beat this depression....

    Hugs Sabrina

  • 16 years ago

    by ♥ Rejekted

    that was one of the best poems i've ever read.

  • 16 years ago

    by sarah jenkins

    I really enjoyed this poem, its very created, and expresses alot of feeling, its very well written, and i personally really like it! but i was wondering if maybe you could comment and or vote on my new poem called "White Silk Dress" if its not too much trouble! Thanks, sarah jenkins!

  • 16 years ago

    by Matt

    wow i realli like dis poem it flowed amazingly and i realli relate to it come and chek out some ov my poems id luv 2 no wat such a talented writer thought xxxkeep writingxxx

  • 16 years ago

    by tasha

    heya i started self harming when i was 11 and thought ild just be able to give it up when i had my son i tried but i havent gotten over my addiction but this is a really great poemand if u ever want to chat just email me on t065@hotmail.com
    love tasha x x x ps look after yourself