I’m everything I never wanted to be
I don’t know how this happened, how I could'nt see
All the things that hurt and bring pain
All of those I tried to cover up the stain
The smoking the drinking
The dying and sinking
Using the drugs and those lies I do tell
Never noticing that it’s to me I do yell
Smoking, those cigarettes, that temporary high
Maybe not the best, but by which I can get by
The smoke that does smell, it stinks up my life
Knowing very well, it only adds to my strife
My lungs blackening with each puff
not to be cool or even to look tough
The drinking and the laughter it brings
It may not be true but at least my heart, it sings
The taste sometimes gross, it causes lost thought
Unfortunately for me, the drinks I never bought
For my disgusting habit, I take from where I can
It wasn’t suppose to happen, this was not my plan
Dying while using these tools, it’s not only me I hurt
Luckily for me, stupid things I haven’t yet blurt
Losing my soul to the indestructible pain
Nothing I do will ever cover that stain
Sinking into the dark abyss
I know my family; it’s me that they’ll miss
Forever I fall, using my “medicineâ€
I know it’s me that creates all this sin
The drugs are more useful, they completely lose thought
Still something, I never even bought
Up in the sky, away on a fake high
Sometimes in my mind I get away and fly
With the lies piling up, I can’t hid them all
In everyone I tell, I’ll continue to fall
To my family and friends, to anyone who’ll hear
I guess in the end, I’m covering my fears
Everything that could bring me this pain
The things that don’t cover the stain
I use them all to ease what I feel
to make sure that nothing feels real
I don’t know how I couldn’t see
How I became everything I never wanted to be
