They say life is full of adventures. well were is mine. i sit at home alone and bored not knowing what to do. all i do all day is download music, and read. but most of the time i dance so that i wont get any fluff on me.
my head is sore as well as my back can someone please take the pain away that is in my heart. to many years have i been broken torn to shreds by only who knows what. maybe it is from all the years of being raped and beat that has left me to this shell that i am.
to hide my emotions i try real hard. you will see no tears shed from my eyes for that is for no one to see. i must be strong to survive this world full of hate and suffering. but will my suffering ever stop i doubt that it will.
i look in the mirror and i don't see the girl i use to be died red hair dark eyeshadow black eyeliner with silver under neath red and black lips and a lost look in my eyes it what i see. a choker around my neck with a chain to stay its place. dark clothed girl is what i see. no more happiness shines through the eyes i see in the mirror. what happened to the girl i use to be. so happy and bubbly. she left and only comes out to put a smile on others face but not a true smile upon my own.
late at night i feel it leaving. leaving me once again. night comes to take my soul and sanity. just to throw it to the dusk. so that i must find it once again.
my mind is leaving me releasing me of my pain. that is kept away and locked inside for i dare not show to you. for it is for no one to see and no one to know. till me and my mind come at ease with my soul and sanity.
none will be allowed to see this weakened state i partake daily. as the sun lowers in the west to take it all away. MIND, SOUL, SANITY. till i finally seek and find the help i need.
the blade is sharp. the barrel is full locked and loaded. the noose around my neck is tight. just waiting for last moments. to prove to you that this pain i hide. of the loss of my MIND SOUL and SANITY. have finally caught up to me for me to say my final good-bye.
but should i fight it more and not let it all win in the end and go on living. i don't know any more. for i don't know much of anything of what is real and what is false.
