Now

Now
I lie here under the covers
In the dark
You hold my hand
And whisper in my ear,
"Don’t even think about it."

I met you over the internet
You just randomly private messaged me
So I talked to you
And you talked to me
You were my best friend

I had my standards and you had yours
But we were both desperate
Though we wouldn’t admit it
Until one day
You professed your love

In a moment of weakness
I gave in
We both did
I honestly believed this would never happen
But I wished it

My dad found out
Told me to stop talking to you
I suddenly knew the meaning of having a broken heart
It hurt
And I badly wanted you by my side

Every night I saw you
Wished and wanted
But will never have
And I knew it
But I was stubborn

I knew I was manipulated
I knew I was toyed with
I knew I was a fool
I knew you weren't mine
I knew you never were my friend

But now
I lie here under my covers
You hold my hand
And whisper in my ear
"Don’t even think about it."
But I know there’s a knife in my drawer