They say her smile could brighten a room
that's why they always loved seeing her face
that when she frowned, they frowned
so she smiled
for them
for everyone
it was expected; everything was expected
her grades. her friends. her life.
years passed by and still she smiled
‘til she learned that life isn't always a smile
learned that she didn't want to smile
but she couldn't stop
she could never stop
it was the only thing she knew
so she smiled
for them
for everyone
her smile consumed her
she was her smile
only her smile
a smile,
a shadow
an empty hollow
void of everything
but darkness
first came the worry, the stress
then the tears
then the doubt
then the darkness
the nothing
the space
but she couldn't stop smiling
she had to always smile
it was her smile
the only thing not consumed by the darkness
but the one thing consuming her
but the darkness stirred, struggled from within
her silent screams never heard
her pleas for mercifulness
to be released from the darkness,
from the smiles,
all ignored
and that's how they found her
laying against the wall, her skin as cold as ice
empty medicine bottles lined up next of her, tidy and neat
they called it a tragedy
a mystery like none other
they wondered how such a beautiful thing could be gone so quickly
they wondered about themselves, their own children, their own lives
they wondered about their smiles
there were no smiles that day
I asked those who knew her
who saw her
if she was still smiling
if she had died with her smile on her face
some said yes and called it a wonder
others said no with no smile of their own
I don’t know whose right
I don’t think any were lying
I suppose it just depends on who you are
and what you chose to see
so the next time you walk down the hallway
and greet the child with the beautiful smile
try to listen closer
and see if you can hear their silent screams
if you can feel their sadden touch
look closer
and see what’s really there
if it’s really just a smile
or is a shadow hidden behind
for that’s what she was
a smiling shadow
