Never letting go of you daddy

As I was growing up my dad meant so much to me. He was the person I loved and when I grew up he was who I wanted to be.

Time began to pass and my dad began to change. He was never home and it literally became an outrage.

Just when I thought my dad wasn't coming home someone called my house and it was the cops on the phone.

They told me something was wrong and I needed to call my mom.

As we drove down to the station I began to cry. I thought to myself did he get hurt? Did he die?

I started to yell and scream inside my head and i didn't want to say good-bye.

My mom got called to a room where she sat alone and someone had called her on the phone.

They said her husband had got hurt real bad and he said that he loved his wife and his daughter and he was sorry he was never the best husband or dad.

The cop said he had been hit by a car and because a guy was smoking weed and he was taken to jail and he's getting the help that he'd need.

As my mom came out of the room she had a tear run from her eye and she whispered to me I'm sorry baby but daddy died..

I began to scream and I was so mad. I never loved anyone more than him because he was the best dad.

I tried to fight back the tears but I just couldn't hold them in. I lost the most important person in my life so it had to come to an end.

As we left the station now words were said just the thought of my dad not being with me replaying in my head.

When I got to my house I ran to my bed. I screamed into my pillow and I said NO DADDY'S NOT DEAD!

I just need to see you daddy one more time. I need to tell you I love you and that you don't know how much I cry.

Daddy I'd die for you because I love you more than anyone in this world. Even though your gone I'm still your little girl.

My mom was coming up the stairs because it was a year today that my best friend, my daddy had passed away.

I told her how much I love him and miss him more and more each day.

And she softly whispered close your eyes and rest baby everything will be OK.

And as I lay my head down that night and pray, I wish that soon I'll be able to see my daddy even just for one second of a day.

Yes it's 4 years later and I still cry sometimes during th night thinking it's my fault dad's dead because I could have held on with all my might.

I'm sorry daddy I know you think me crying over you is wrong but you're my best friend and I'm no longer strong.

Daddy I do have weaknesses and it's that every night I break down and cry and without you in my life I wanna die.

Daddy I need to tell you something but please don't get mad. Please don't frown down on me and get sad.

I'm sorry daddy but I started to smoke pot. I only did it because since you've been gone it's filled that empty spot.

Daddy I'm now an outcast at my school. My grades and academics are slipping and I'm no longer considered "cool."

I'm I'm 16 now dad, it's been 4 years. Sometimes I still can't sleep at night because of my childish fears.

There isn't ever a day daddy that I let pass by that I don't think about you being gone and I cry.

As I pull out a gun daddy it's time for me to go to bed. I love you more than this poem daddy had even said.

I stick the gun to my chest and whisper I love you and miss you daddy and just to be with you I'll put myself to rest and before I go I just want you to know daddy "I love you so much."

This isn't true I just felt like writing it.
Please vote and comment! I took me a very long time to write this! I know it's long but thanks for reading!