I wanna be a star

As I sit here watching all the stars revolve around this cold broken earth
I think to myself wondering why
Why the world moves
When there is nothing good enough for it to keep moving
My breath freezes in the air
Making white puffs like smoke, billowing around in my face
And it stays there
It doesn’t fade
Until the room is filled with fog, and I cannot see what is in front of me
Or to the side of me
Or to the back of me
People try to reach me through this fog
But I push them out of the way
Making as little noise as possible, I don’t want to wake anyone
In fact, I never wanted to wake myself
But I was shaken violently awake
By the cold hands of pain and sadness
I was so happy in my dream, floating and laughing
But no longer
It does not reach me where I am
Never will
And I still sit here watching those stars
Those ever hopeful stars
They’re so hopeful they will make one last revolution
Without blowing into a million tiny shards
They’re not afraid of anything
Nothing at all
If only I could be like that one sparkling star up there
Singing silently with the rest
I put my hands behind my head and rest that way
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Breathing in and breathing out
I am still alive though I don’t know it
I don’t know anything anymore
I close my eyes, envisioning the day when at least I can smile
Where at least more people I love and care about will know I’m there
Why do I love you?
Because you saw me when everyone else thought I was just vapor
Cuz you saw me and I love you for that
I can at least live one more day knowing that
At least one person knows that I’m alive and living
One more day that you shall wait unknowing
About the love that I shall give
Dishing it out in heaping portions
To everyone around me
And I hope that they will return it and not break it