Tears in the Desert

Always around, but never quite there.
I opened my ears, but never could hear.
Feeling so sure, but always confused.
I opened my heart, but never was loved.

Feeling so sick, but in perfect health.
I know my friends, better than myself.
Always shouting, but not saying a word.
Living a lie, when I'm so sure of the truth?

Living in the light, while playing in the darkness.
I'm told I have value, yet I feel so worthless.
No scars on my arms, yet I'm always bleeding.
Looking around, but never quite seeing.

Understanding completely, but apprehending not.
Full of hope, yet burdened by distraught.
Living out strong, yet always broken.
Revealing myself, while keeping me hidden.

A beautiful facade, over a shattered window.
Looking up, while seeing below.
Drinking fire, and quenching water.
Running so sure, yet always a falter.

Creating the dead, while destroying the living.
No senses in myself, yet always feeling.
No sound is heard, yet always singing.
No emotion is felt, yet always loving.

Trapped in a heart, oblivious to the obvious.
Know what to say, but can't help myself.
Offering of love, rendering me uneasy.
Always helping, the one that's not me.

Screaming inside, unsure of what's real.
Pretending to know, when I can’t even feel.
Crying endlessly, obstructing my view.
Unsure what to say, knowing what’s true.

Showing the parts, that are on top of it all.
Hiding the brokenness behind a wall.
Looking onward, but trapped by the now.
Hoping for the end, but stopped by Time’s flow.

Holding onto the past, burdening the here.
Feeling others’ pain, it’s too much to bear!
Through my mind reels an endless song.
While blinded by love, everything’s wrong.

– Thomas Brooks ©