Life or death???

I cried so many years
i let out so many tears
i ran all out
so i went to start and shout....

But i shouted so many times in all
my throat hurts and no longer can i call
so i tried cutting.....

But after the first two months
there were too many cuts
scars were everywhere to be found
so i went to drinking rounds.....

But while the drink subsided pain
and i walked in the rain
it came back stronger
and the pain lasted longer
so i started to be a drugger...

But the drugs made me weaker inside
and the affects came with pain that went by
and in the end pain was the one i wanted to subside
but instead i got more of its taunts
so i started thinking of suicide

And here i am writing to you
i tried to neglect it but its true
some part of me wants to die
cause it cant stand pain and its lie
i just.. just need help for this choice
the voices are calling me and i cant stand its noise
so this could be my last breath
should i pick life or death?

you dont have to answer the question.........but it would help