Pills and More Pills

by Unloved ♥   Apr 6, 2005


I swallowed hard
Wiped my eyes
Trying not cry
Because today I wanted to die

I felt so much hurt
I felt like S H I T
I felt like dirt
I couldn't take it

I finally got home
Buried my head in my pillow
It felt as though I cried forever
The tears never stopped

I walked into the bathroom
Opened the medicine cabinet
Took a bottle filled with pills
I knew these could kill

I took a few
Then I took more
One last cut
My arm getting soar

I suddenly saw the ceiling as I closed my eyes
I suddenly passed out
Right after I cried

The next think I saw was a bright light
Doctors circled a bed
I saw my parents crying
Right after the Doctor said
"I'm very sorry, shes dead"

**I might re-write this cuz I think it stinks, but I want to see what YOU think.and should I rewrite it?.comment please**

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Eibutsina

    A great poem hun it far from stinks you probbaly could at a lil more detail though, a bit of extra atmosphere to your tale in this poem - just a suggestion I hope you can work with :o)

  • 19 years ago

    by Brookeღ

    I wouldn't re-write it. Once I post a poem I leave it the way it is! It tells a sad story! Good job! Take Care! Brooke

  • 19 years ago

    by Todd

    deffinitley keep it the way it is! dont change one single thing! its really good. just dont do nothing stupid like that! keep writing, your good! read and comment mine sometime :)

  • 19 years ago

    by hopelessregret

    i don't want u ta change it... it gets the point across and brought a tear to my eye... omg it was sad, if that's what u wanted then it's perfect... take care, MAndie :)

  • 19 years ago

    by t i f f a n y ♥

    This is a good poem, good story to it, too. As for re-writing it, that's up to you. But if you do, I suggest fixing the rhyme scheme. But the story of the poem is good, so don't change too much.

    Love,
    Tiff

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