A secret

Sometimes when I
feel really sad
or things get too much,
I take out my pain
and frustration on
the only person I can -
me.

I lay in a twisted heap
on the cold floor.
The blood seeps out
and changes the
carpet to a soggy crimson.
If the sun shines through
the window to where I lay,
I close my eyes and hope
that god won’t see that
I butcher the body
he gave to me.

I know if I just had the
courage to fight a little harder,
I would win and break
out of what holds me down,
and rise up, above
the world and shine
brighter than the sun.

Have you ever found yourself
crying, in so much pain
that you cant breathe?
And with every gasp of air
you pray it to be your last.
You struggle to survive
and no one seems to care.
Blood is dripping on your
shoes but everyone looks away.
You’re down on your knees
begging the world for help.
But they push you aside -
out of the way, they don’t
want to see you make a mess.
As long as their world
is all smiles and sunshine,
why would they want your
blood stains on their heart?

I pull down my sleeves
and build up the walls,
remove myself from society
as best I can.
Its better for the world if
I just find a quiet corner
and wait to die, because
they don’t want to see
that I am hurting.

Can you keep a secret?

I hurt myself.