I can't express how badly I wish
that I could help all the kids like me, the sensitive young men and women, who hurt so deeply, so purely, every day, just because
we Feel so much.
I know it's a gift, a blessing that lets me bond with people on an incredibly intimate level, but the toll is great, and I fear that so many young people like me just can't handle the accumulated pains of everyone they know.
It is so unbearably hard,
being an Empathizer,
identifying and internalizing the sorrows and worries of others and making them your own.
Though I am grateful to be able to reduce the suffering of others, I sometimes wish I could just shut it all out.
Because it just hurts so bad,
fighting the struggles of a dozen people when I can't even overcome my own demons.
I know I neglect myself, prioritize everyone else over myself, but I just can't stop.
I care about people, love them, far more than I do myself, and more than anything else in the world I want to lessen their burdens and make their lives easier.
It's not for accolades or
self-satisfaction;
Helping people is what I do.
Who I am.
I feel that it's my calling, and I find that I just can't keep myself from accepting more responsibilities, even past the point of all sense.
There has to be a reason that God draws people to me, makes them respect me, trust me, and confide in me.
He has created in me a deep, full well of strength reserved only for the use of others.
I find myself speaking words, saying things I've never thought before.
Soothing
Teaching
Loving
And in those moments, I know I have been touched by the Spirit,
transformed into a living agent of God's love, and it is the most peaceful, fulfilling sensation I have ever known.
So despite the pain it sometimes causes me, I'll keep on being myself.
Reaching out, giving aid, and shouldering burdens for as long as He lets me.
