Drunk on your pain

He washes down the last mouth full,
In hopes, it will ease his pain,
"Come back here, you useless kid,
It's time to play a little game"

I know your game, "father"
It is like the million before,
I'll scream in front of my "mother",
While you beat me to the floor.

Tonight, it goes no different,
Except mum, she isn't here,
Has the guilt gotten to heavy,
For her to watch me in despair?

Cant she watch her daughter cry,
While you explode in fits of rage,
Am i not worthy of her love,
Compassion or any praise?

So slam that heal even deeper,
I cannot be bothered to fight,
I promise i won't say a word,
To anybody - about tonight.

Just throw a few more plates,
I am sure these cuts will heal,
Blood may cover my face, dad,
But I'm immune, i cannot feel.

Bruises may lace my body,
But i will not say a thing,
After all i am your punch-bag,
It is common to feel the sting.

So here i am again, writing,
Just another pointless piece,
I'll tell the paper of your sins,
And pray this torture will cease.

-----------------
Entry: Last.

"Sorry dad but I've snapped,
My will has gone astray,
My heart once innocent and loving,
Has decided it's time today ...

I blame you for the memories,
That you burnt inside my head,
And i hate you for the cursing,
That has drunken me to death ...

I'm dead and drunk on your pain"
-----------------

+The End, Full Stop, it is over .. Was i just ignorant to believe he had changed? ... There is nothing more to be said+