Every Scar: A Memory

I feel more alone now
More than i every had
Why cant you only see
That I'm more than just sad
This depression pours into my veins
And even more my heart
Everyday is a nightmare
Where I'm completely falling apart
I never meant to be like this
Breaking down and crying almost everyday
E wake up every morning
Dreading the sadness in each and every way
I'm sorry that i endure so much pain
And I'm pulling you all in
But don't be mad if I'm always sad
I dwell in pain and sin
Don't bother to protect me
I have no heart to take
Some days my only wish
Is to die before i wake
No worries seem to cross my mind
I'm just so very lost
I don't think about consequences
Or their future cost
I slice through my skin every night
Trying not to feel or think
But into this dark misery
I only seem to sink
Then i cry myself to sleep
Hoping that I'll be safe in the dark
But then the blade starts calling
Begging me to make those blood-stained marks
I don't know what to do anymore
This agony is tearing me to shreds
It seems at night i only long
For that deep crimson red
So cut me into pieces
And leave me on this floor
With blood red designs on my arm
My skin only begging me for more...

~Madison Leigh~ April 30th 2005